Waking up from a great night of peaceful sleep and finding out my hubby slept like garbage as his head was full of all the what ifs of the surgery ahead. Boy that really can mess with you. He wonders if he'll have to switch to first shift because I might need ALOT of extra help. How can I keep all of this from changing the way my family runs? Is it even an option to just carry on and do nothing? No surgery? No treatment? That would then create No burden or change, right?? How I wish it were just that simple. My heart hurts as my family is sharing their concerns. Would it just be easier if I didn't survive the surgery? Then they could just move on a whole lot faster. That sounds so negative and it's not meant to I promise! I just need to find some how, some way to not be a burden. My prayer is for strength that I can be stronger then I ever knew I could be. That I won't be a burden. And that God controls the surgeon's hands. I promised when I started this blog that I would not hold back and share my journey good or bad. So here you have it....just a hard day of head games.
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