I am not getting any better at this waiting game and either is Ken. And watch out because now Ken is on Google patrol. The Internet is a great tool but dangerous too! I am stuck in fog land, not really my normal up beat self. I am walking around while fighting myself in my head. I wanted to email my doctor today but slapped myself telling myself it takes time. There's been discussions in this cancer world as doctors meet, but unclear if I was the topic or some other soul ridding the same ride as me. If it is me then it sounds like an operation is going to be out of the question. What does one do while holding this very scary information? I know....she goes NUTS!!!!! OK Dawnelle stop it!!!!!!! Get a grip!!!! But wait what does it mean if one can't have the cancer surgical removed??? Will it NEVER be really gone?? Will radiation be enough?? Would I bleed out if they tried, because of the blood flow to these monsters?? Ok ok Dawnelle you're going to drive yourself to the funny farm and everyone around you. Put your headsets back on and get lost in your music.....but wait every song reminds you of someone, something or an adventure. Those memories then take you down a happy path but then it turns sad because you wonder....oh boy is this a vicious cycle. Sure hope God understands I have reached that breaking point and supplies some clear answers tomorrow. I want my carefree happy attitude back.....ready to find my pixie dust and fly to Neverland to escape this madness!!!! Wait a second is pixie dust really a drug?? Hmmmmm I gotta think about that one. Distracted by Disney for the moment.
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