Biopsy Babble

I will attempt to describe what took place yesterday....Maria & I left work at noon and spent a few hours laughing and even touring our sister Cancer Partnership in Everett, which allowed us to put faces to names that we talk to daily on the phone. Not to mention gained a lot of fresh ideas to bring back to our hospital. And helped keep my mind off of what was coming. But then the time came and we checked in, went into the biopsy room...had a few more giggles and danced around in my gown. In came the doctor. Laid down with my neck hanging back as far as possible.  A stick and a burn on the left side. Ok hold on Dawnelle you can do it. First biopsy, I could feel when the needle entered the tumor and then he puts the needle up and down about 20 times. I could feel it being pulled right out of my body. Deep breath and I say One done right? Only 3 to go? And he says nope we gotta get a few on each mass. Ahhhhhhhhhh I wanted to get up and run away....I ended up having 14 sticks total between the 4 numbings and the 10 biopsies.....when we got to the right side I kept thinking I gotta stay brave and I can't let them know I am being a big baby because this has to get done. On my right side at my collar bone thru my muscle he went I wanted to scream. I made a few sounds and a few jokes and tensed my feet and held my breath. Finally we were done!!!!! The doctor tells us next we will be hearing from him next week and a consult with the surgeon to learn if my cancer is operative or not, due to location of the tumors and my scar tissue from my last cancer surgery.  Once that is decided then radiation treatment will be figured out. I then asked how much work am I going to miss? I got to grab onto something in my control. He hesitates to answer that....I say I know you don't have a magic ball. Just guess. He replies a week or two. I smile at that. Got enough PTO saved.  We next headed out to the car and I gave Maria my keys knowing I was in no shape to drive. I swallowed and I started feeling pressure on my throat.  I look in the mirror seeing a lump growing and say this doesn't feel right we better go back in. As we're walking back in my head is freaking out am I going to not be able to breathe in a second? Walk up to the desk and explain short and sweet what was happening.  The clerk's face showed pure horror. Guessing that's not normal. Doctor motions us right back. Ultrasound shows there's internal bleeding.  Put pressure on the mass and hang out for a bit. Still breathing......doctor asked if we were getting right back on the ferry. Explained we were heading to get our toes done. He says good idea. If it gets worse here's my pager number and go directly to the ER. So we had our tootsies & fingers beautified followed by one heck of an amazing Italian meal that was out of this world. I am so glad Maria came as she heard what I was unable to and translated what I was unclear on. I will forever be grateful! Thank you for supporting me Maria! Today I am hurting really good, unable to lift my right arm up and struggling with my neck muscles to lay up and down. Ken washed my hair with pure gentleness for me. I hate not being able to be the care taker. But am learning to lean with a soul of peace and not frustration.  ♥