What a day and adventure yesterday was. Definitely reminded I wasn't in control of ANYTHING! As I walked back and forth from place to place even though I was alone, I never felt alone. I got in trouble for not letting anyone come and sit with me. I am still that girl who feels like she can do it all herself. It's truly a deep rooted Navy Wife way to be. But I know I'd feel the same way if someone else didn't allow me to be there for them. That wasn't how we planned it, but not knowing if anything was even going to happen until right before it did....I just couldn't see making anyone else sit there could be any fun. So let me give you some details....there are at least 10 tumors in my neck that can be seen. Ranging in many sizes. One is on my vocal cord, which leaves the odds of me losing my voice extremely high. There is an additional surgery that can be done later to reverse that some. I can't even begin to imagine me with no voice....is there such a thing as a quite Dawnelle?? Good thing my ears will still work. Another one of the tumors is wrapped around the nerve in my neck that controls my left arm. The surgeon says he may have to cut that nerve which means no use of my left arm and a road of physical therapy would be ahead. Most of the tumors are located on my left side, where they didn't operate on the last time around. This doctor too believes it's been growing for 18 years. Now the two spots on my lungs are not big and may be able to be treated by radiation. We are waiting for my older scans to arrive to compare. After my appointments were over I went outside and called Ken and my mom, then I got in a taxi and the driver asked how my day was? It was only a 5 minute taxi ride to my Great Aunt & Uncle but the driver was able to put a calmness for me to grab on as he told me everything was in God's hands. Then I went to my aunt's arms. I needed that hug!!! We went out for an amazing dinner with my cousin & her kiddos, didn't focus on the yucky stuff and boy did it feel good to eat after a day with no food!!! Oh and the apple crisp was my favorite....sugar touched my lips!!! Next my aunt & uncle drove me to Ken's work to pick up Danny. Dropped us off at the ferry as we left our other car on the other side. Danny stayed connected to me and wouldn't let go. Talked to my mother n law who was eager for some information. And she said, "how are you going to do what you love and cook with only one arm?" Ok that freaked me out as I had not thought about what I couldn't do. Danny saw it and grabbed hold of me and said, "mom lets talk about the positive and what you can do. You will still have your arm and I can help wrap it around me to hug me. You can still laugh and why we may not hear it, we will see it." As my friend pointed out, Danny is me. That's so something I would say to someone else. So I went to bed thinking about the positive, knowing I am deeply loved and covered in prayer across the world. I still believe in God's power & miracles. I have no control and this isn't my job to run. I slept like a baby. Thank you for loving me and helping me get thru yesterday. Love your families and make crazy memories!!!!
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