My morning started with me losing it. I knew at some point the reality would strike. I was still in bed and as Ken held me I cried out, "Promise me no matter what you will make my kids laugh!". I plan on being a survivor, but my head does wonder at times if this is the end for me. It's hard not to think about death as much as I try not to. It is a reality. Today we went to church, then dropped Danny off at a birthday party, went on a lunch date, followed by massages and as Ken was having his I went to the pottery shop and painted. Getting lost in my own world. I painted both kids their own pancake platters....you see I made one years ago for Ken that on Saturdays we load up with pancakes in the oven to all sit down and eat together. The kids have already fought over who gets the platter when they move out. Now all 3 have their very own. My plan was to make them as wedding gifts someday so they did have their own. But I have learned we don't know what tomorrow holds. My head is ping ponging all over the place. I need to make a beware sign for the side of my hospital bed because as soon as I wake up I will be attempting to swing my left arm and yell. I gotta know right off if my parts still work. My head wonders how on earth will I make work work if I don't work the same anymore. I pray I can be a light some how and suceed in my weakness. Thank you for so many kind words, prayers, scarfs of hugs, driving me & your love. I will take this week head on and living it to the fullest! ♥
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