The Details

What a journey of emotions I walked today. As I woke up this morning I had a song in my heart. Fully knowing I was not alone. As I got Danny up to get ready for school, my sweet boy was ready to puke. The love my boy has for me melts my heart. I am sorry he had to go threw the fear and knowing he couldn't touch me after I consumed the radiation affected him deeply. I allowed him to stay home from school. Off to catch the ferry I went alone (by choice). After I boarded the ferry I started surfing Facebook where I learned the horrible news that my hospital roomie who finally went home yesterday,  since our surgeries on September 19th, passed away in her sleep. She give it such a mighty fight!! She was such a strong strong lady! I lost count to how many surgeries she ended up having but 16 is in my head. I don't understand why, we had the same surgeon and the same fight. Cancer is such a nasty beast!! As I rode the ferry I cried for my friend. Then I had a new sense of I gotta kick this cancer in the face for both Lyn & I!! I laid in the scan with my Pandora Laura Story music for 49 minutes.....as the scan moved downward they had the monitor facing down at me...the images were blank...nothing was lighting up. My song Blessings filled the room at top volume and I was filled with Peace. Of course the tech's couldn't give me the results but by then we had swapped stories of our jobs. I had the same tech as I did yesterday who witnessed me hugging a patient in the hall. She thought I worked there...lol Sometimes reading between the lines gets one a smile with knowing information. I next went to my doctors office and asked for the results. Yes I was that patient without the appointment,  but I wanted to know if I could eat. I was nice about it and friendly but the clerk was a grouchy pants with an gray cloud attitude.  I told her I would wait, her response we'll the nurses go to lunch in 45 min you may have to wait tell 1:00 when they get back. I said no prob I will wait. Then she proceeded to make snide nasty comments about me as I sat there. So not OK! I held my tongue but not my finger as I email back and forth with my MD so I figured I would email him as I sat there listening to Debbie Downer....not 5 minutes later his MA came out and got me and my MD was waiting for me with my results. Such a giant reminder for all my medical friends and that we don't know the whole picture of any of our patients days and to watch our attitudes and tongues. And not to sit at our desks and complain about things our patients so don't take for granted. (Off my soap box now) My doctors words are still a shock to me......there wasn't any radiation uptake anywhere.  My lungs are clear, my neck is clear of thyroid cancer. This summer I will have a CT scan to check my lungs and make sure whatever it is in there doesn't grow. On Sunday as I stood in church singing at the top of my lungs I had this pain in my lung that I can only describe as a feeling of something climbing out of my chest, directly followed by a complete feeling of peace. I honestly expected there to be some uptake in my neck and fully intended to not treat if my lungs were clear. In the simple words of my son tonight....."Mom, you are very blessed!" Feeling very blessed and even taking tomorrow off from work to just embrace life!! ♥