Let's go backwards so that we can go forwards.....1995 while 6 months pregnant and a husband deployed out under the ocean I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. After doctors wanting to operate while I was pregnant, I very politely told them over my dead body. So after steroid shots twice a week in my growing backside, MaryBeth's lungs reached to being ready and 4 weeks early she arrived. Just a week later it was time to remove "my green glob" ( which was the evil things name ). 3 months later on Ken's birthday I returned to the cold, white room with the music rockin and my fun doctors dancing & singing to me as they knocked me back out to remove green globs family additions. For 17 years now I have heard my blood levels show that the cancer is still present but we can't find it on the scans, so until we can don't worry about it. Every Navy move meant new doctors and I heard that song and dance so many times that I jumped off the emotional roller coaster and didn't worry. I did have radiation that I drank (nasty stuff tasted like dirty water and killed my test buds for months...even chocolate tasted bad). They locked me away for a week in a paper covered room that no one could come into, and anything I took in I wouldn't be able to take out. My box of crayons kept me busy as I colored the floors & walls completely. Had to keep my mind off the fact I wasn't with my precious newborn. When I got out of "jail" my mom flew back to Cali with my baby girl because I couldn't hold her and we were both crying babies when in the same room.
Fast Forward:
Last year before my back surgery my new primary care looked me in the eye and said, "I don't have time to follow your cancer." At that time I just needed a form filled out for life insurance. Yeah I placed a complaint and switched doctors after that. Every year she had my blood drawn and called and said my levels were find and to continue my thyroid medication.
So I go visit my new primary care and she tells me tests haven't been ran & asks who is following my brain mets? At that point I was pissed at myself for not asking the tests results and trusting when I heard "it's fine". And brain mets where did that come from....somewhere along the way an interpretation got crossed but for months as I waited for an auth to a specialist I stressed over that. First auth came thru approved...but the doc was on vacation. When he returned he said my case was too difficult for him. I still respect he admitted that. So after that the military insurance carrier changed....waiting for a new auth I called the specialist office that the oncologist I work for recommended. Was told they take my insurance so I requested the auth to be for there. I work insurance for my job and knew the temp fix was no auths needed until July 2....well it turns out this new doctor that I saw isn't in network with my insurance. I called our local military insurance guy that I work with for work asking "now what?" & "help". Why this seems like a giant mess it actually turns out to be a window into this doctor who figured out where the green glob is after 1 bloodwork & 1 scan. If things were under the normal way I would have probably got the same song & dance. The insurance has already paid the claims with no questions. I now wait for another auth to be put thru under "continuation of care"....if all goes well I should be able to keep seeing this doctor. And I have my insurance guy to help me along the way. What a relief that I learned today.
What did the tests show? Multiple masses mostly on my right side of my neck. The doctor believes my body didn't react to the radioactive iodine 17 years ago (which I'm allergic to Iodine). Thyroid cancer Thank God is a slow growing cancer and only 4% of people with it die from it. However it freaks me out some to know green glob has been having his family grow for 17 years. My biopsy is August 9th and a CT scan is ahead too to make sure it has stayed contained in my neck.
Why I have more questions then answers I will continue to find the good and laugh along the way. Part of my job is being a patient advocate and talk about life's lessons working its magic. I know because of this it will help many.
Between work, home, mother n law who is still having adjustment issues and all the other little things I should remain busy which keeps my head away from those scary thoughts. The out pouring of love has melted my heart and as I started the day angry/mad....I have ended the day with a grateful heart and my baby boy almost back to his carefree self. I am so glad he could straight out ask me if I was going to die. To take away his fear and surround him with my love tonight melted any leftover ice on my heart.
Thank you again friends & family for loving me and my family!!!!!!! ♥
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