What a week! I am so impressed with my son's track season. He needed that in his life! Great coaches, great teammates & great competition. Was so wonderful to have 8 weeks of positive flood our lives.
I am currently on my way down the island on the bus, catching the ferry and then getting picked up on the motorcycle from Ken. I am not the best of company right now, as tears keep escaping down my cheeks. I don't like others seeing that side. So I am actually thankful for this time to process alone. Head phones on and letting music flood my heart.
On Monday my let's check and see if this treatment worked ultrasound happened, as well as the let's peekaboo at those lung spots, and the let's check your blood and read your life test. So on Tuesday, I gathered all of the results to take them today to my follow up. So you know I read them....how could I not? Definitely deserve some kind of life degree....lol I am blessed to share my office with some amazing oncologist, whom are not officially my doctors, but have helped me process this time for sure. On Tuesday, our doc made me laugh and said I should go back to school and become a doctor because my understanding is there. I hope I understand some of this after a 20 year battle. What I read is my tumor where the abliation was done didn't shrink, it shifted in size. Guess it tried to run but was blocked. I also have a new mass on near my vocal cord. My Lung spot has grown. As well as my labs are elevated.
Yesterday I received a copy of the letter my doctor wrote on my behalf for my appeal. Right now they have made $277 my responsibility. But I did an appeal on my own behalf. Praying it worked. However, in the letter my diagnose has changed. But seeing it in print from my doctor hit hard. I am no longer categorized as papillary thyroid cancer. Which deep down I knew but seeing it from him, hit me hard. I am now metastatic papillary thyroid cancer. That M word hurts more then the C word. I can't really put it into words. Other then it SUCKS! When ever cancer leaves its primary it becomes metastatic. However all this time I had my brain convinced that I just had leftover thyroid tissue in there. Brain games at its finest.
If I had to guess what today's appointment will hold. I would say maybe another biopsy on the new mass. But the new treatment failed....maybe the oral chemo pill.....we're about to find out if I am right. What I do know is I am certain I will refuse radiation or even external beam radiation. Not worth the doors both of those would totally close for me.
But first a motorcycle ride and a lunch picnic with my honey.
Doctor appointment done....
So here's what the plan is....referral to a pulmonary specialist. Pulmonary function testing ahead. And having a lung doc add his input on these lung spots. Pending those results.....we will meet again and discuss oral chemo pills. As far as my neck tumor, we will not be doing any more abliation treatments. The outcome wasn't what we had hoped for. We will keep the neck mass in a hold pattern until the lungs are figured out. Praying the neck injection scarred it just enough to help it from growing.
It was mighty hard to admit symptoms I have been trying to ignore. And listening to my husband rat me out to the doc. Ken's words "She's not functioning on all cylinders. When she doesn't seem right I take over driving. She's not sleeping good, like she used to."
I thought I was superwoman and could just do it all. Reality is I can't. So now we start the referral process and insurance authorization. I am going to do my very best to just live in the moment. But I will be honest and say this is not an easy one.
So we end the day with no new answers, but the start of a plan.
