I am numb and frankly mad! As I watch my family around me breaking worse then I have seen yet. We were just getting to the point of starting to actually put our dreams on paper for the future. How do you act like everything is normal and ok? While I knew the doctor thought my cancer was back, hearing it actually confirmed had to be one of the worst moments yet. It doesn't get easier time after time.....it gets worse and you wonder if this will ever go away. It feels like a monster is smashing my parade. I have learned a few things in the past few days....the new chemo pill won't ever cure me. It only slows the cancer down with all the nasty chemo side affects. So they lied when they said thyroid cancer is the good cancer to get. Yes it's slow growing, but that slow growing is what makes the chemo not kill it. Right now I am in the waiting pattern for a referral & insurance approval to find out if I am a candidate for alcohol ablation therapy. The ground has swirled up into dust around me and I am having a hard time processing. I am exhausted, my stomach is nauseous, after a few bites I am done eating....trying to push thru. Getting lost in work to try and keep my mind busy. Holding tight onto all of you right now. Every sweet word, hug & laughter really makes a difference. Thank you! ♡
My mother n law will be in the hospital for a bit....today she said she felt like she was on a vacation. Pampered and a beautiful view to boot and a whole ton of attention from multiple phone calls from her family. She is still going thru more testing. Ken stopped on his way home from work tonight to see her. She was weak but smiling.
It's odd to look backwards over these last 4 years since moving to Whidbey....life after the military has definitely not been boring. Is it wrong to pray for some boring times ahead?
